Dear reader, you may be wondering what Mr Him has been up to recently. Have things been quiet on the Mr Him front or so diabolically bad I can't even write about it? Up to recently the former. However I've now concluded that he's the sort of neighbour you want living 3 hours drive away. Maybe you had already guessed that from previous posts. I was in denial I think.
My discovery materialised this week. I know, I know, how could I have not known for that long!
Let's start at the beginning. Once upon a planning permission long months ago a house was built next to us. Right next to us. So next to us we could see through the lounge onto the patio from our bedroom window. It was made of brick. However much Mr Him huffed it would not blow down.
I had blinds put up in our dining room. Mr Him huffed and puffed more when I instructed him that the dining room needed painting to be in keeping with the blinds. Even this furious puffing did not blow the house down.
I bought 15 foot high bamboo as a screen to our patio and dining room. Mr Him huffed as he planted it in pots. The house did not blow down.
I ordered a mature 15ft high budleja. It arrived and was 12 inches. Mr 26 and friend huffed and puffed as they maneuvered 12 inch high budleija. The house did not blow down.
I ordered a 10ft high palm tree. Mr Him puffed in great gusts as he planted this with Mr 26 help. The house did not blow down.
I ordered a 10ft high photenia. Mr Him huffed and puffed and refused to plant it. The house did not blow down.
Two weeks ago a couple moved in to the house. Mr Him invited them over for pizza takeaway. We planned and prepped like we had never done before. (We bought food rather than make it.) I was the hostess of the mostess this time. In preparedness I even tried out a new lipstain that had me looking like a cross between Morticia and Betty Boop. Luckily I managed to remove it before they thought they were walking into Addams Family Mansion. I stopped Mr Him putting the Time Warp on as welcoming background music.
We had a good night. They are a great couple. They loved our dogs and said 'you must bring them over sometime. ' Now you and I know that when people say that they don't mean it.
Not two days had passed before Mr Him was knocking on their door with said dogs to visit newly built, newly carpeted, newly decorated house that would not blow down. He tells me they gushed and aaarhd. He tells me they were pleased, especially when Luna marched in through the house heading to kitchen to see a mother in law.
I say Mr Him's the sort of neighbour they'd want living in another darn town. They must be in fear of us not leaving them in peace.
Mr Him has a new hobby now. A blog reader said they imagine a Bridget Jones voice from me. Mr Him says 'more like her mum.' Still when I said that I even have my own Mr D'Arcy Mr Him started plans on building a lake in the garden, so he could emerge from it occasionally. I said 'don't bother, Mr 26 and I can plunge you in the bath now and then if you like.'
I'm home now and its back to wearing a rain mac and tights. Here in the UK people are talking of summer just starting. Really?!! It's because schools have only just broken up so August is thought to be 'summer'. We actually had a heatwave in June though this year. That was 'summer'.
Whilst we were away our ginger cat missed Mr Him so Miss 22 made, (her words) Mr 26 pay him some attention.
A 'giant' Budleja arrived, for which I'd ordered a trolley to move it. Turns out it was a foot high! It took 2 men and a trolley to maneuver my 'giant' Budleija.
Miss 22 built what she called Temple Palace with her washed bedding.
Then abandoned it, apparently.
Miss 22 also built what appears to have built a runway in the garden to help us home.
I have now returned to work and dealt with a wagon load of emails. Delete delete delete. I've also ate a wagon load of cake. One email even said, ' welcome back, I hope you enjoyed the chocolate cake. Can you fill in this spreadsheet please. ' That was from someone on another floor! And I didn't even know the sender! My cake eating reputation had gone viral, and I'd only been back a day.
Despite not getting sunburn on holiday I seem to have managed it at home. This was most surprising considering I was in bed at night sleeping at the time. Now some may say the sun shines out of Mr Him's whatsiname but I'd prefer it didn't. The result of Mr Him's radiance was that I had a very sore and inflamed red face. It didn't occur to me that I needed factor SPF extra strong in bed sleeping with him. Has he turned into a meta-human. He says not. He says it's the new glycolic acid exfoliating serum that I had put on that night. Hmmmm. Nice try.
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